full of great.

well hello old friend, it's been a spell.

i haven't written in a while. i couldn't really tell you why because it's not like i'm so super busy i can't sit down for ten minutes to crank one of these out. maybe it's the lack of busy that caused the absence.

i had a great post twirling around in my head after thanksgiving. and then sandy hook happened. anything i had to say after that seemed insignificant. it still is, but here i go anyways.

my gratefulness post still hasn't left my head so let's start there. i'm proud to say i was one of the few who actually completed the 30 days of thankful on facebook. each day i posted something i was thankful for. thankfully, it was so easy.

i think others who started this trend didn't manage the 30 days because they started too big. "i'm thankful for my family who has always been there for me and i love them so much and yada yada yada..." well duh, of course you are thankful for your family/kids/husband/etc. it's the small stuff we forget to be thankful for! 

so in that spirit, i "kicked" it off with a bang: "i'm thankful for kickball because i've gained some awesome friends and taken some super flattering pictures. pure grace."

exhibit a.

see i believe the key is keeping it light. 

i was thankful on election day because it meant it was over. i was thankful for a mystery guy who subscribes to magazines with my address, i just wish they were better reads. i was thankful for veterans but even more so for their uniforms. i was thankful to put together a decent dinner even though all i bought at the grocery store was snapple, milk and five bags of chocolate chips. when i was babysitting two kids, two dogs and a bailey i was thankful to "work" for great families but glad i don't have that many beings to care for on the regular. 

dogs don't make great babysitters, unless there is food.

i was thankful my mop broke so i didn't have to wash the floors. i was thankful that i live close enough to work to be able to change my pants at lunch. i was thankful for this video, because it made me laugh so hard i cried. it was perfectly timed as i just was teaching a friend ballet positions and i'm sure i looked as graceful.

my birthday was november nineteenth, so i had lots to be thankful for then, like great friends who surprised me with a dinner at the disney resort. i was thankful for dessert and my new iphone. i was thankful for my parents anniversary which they celebrated with an early bird special. i was thankful for a friend who saved my life on a run and then super thankful i won free sneakers.

thanks, saucony!

me like cupcake!

i was thankful for a 5K because it came with a t-shirt and breakfast. each day i was thankful for 5pm, only wishing it came sooner. i was thankful that i'm a girl and therefore have common sense. i was thankful for my dad's service in the air force and especially his coined phrase "if you can't wipe it, you have to wear it."

most of all, i was thankful i had (at least) 30 things to be thankful for. 

yes, of course, i'm beyond grateful for my family. i hope actions speak louder than words on that one. what was so great about this project was it taught me to appreciate the small stuff and that every negative can come with a positive.

honestly, i got depressed when november was over and i could no longer harass facebook friends with my gratefulness. i forgot to stop and think each day what there was to be happy about. 

and there is so much! 

for example, the other day my dog rolled in tar and i now know all the different substances that help remove it should i ever fall into a bucket of tar. or more likely, when bailey goes back to the park.

its the little things, folks! be grateful.

for the love of dave matthews.

i have changed a lot since my junior year of high school. THANK GOD. but one thing that remains constant however is my blond hair, affinity for all things chocolate and a love for dave matthews. THANK GOD.

my sister and her boyfriend (now husband) drove me and three of my friends to see him in new jersey my junior year and i was hooked. i have seen eleven shows since then in massachusetts, connecticut, new york, virginia, florida, and indiana. i considered myself a super fan but really, there are people who see him twelve times a year.

part of the draw is that no show is the same. different set lists, different jams. i used to be so into the set list thing. writing it down for the shows i saw, looking up others on antsmarching.org, getting so dissapointed when i missed a good encore. and the jams! i could hippie dance with the best of them.

going to a concert was always a huge production. it usually involved some considerable travel and tailgating was a must. get there early, drink beer, eat food, get your lawn seat ASAP, buy t-shirt, dance your hippie heart out, take beach chairs back out and enjoy watching the line of traffic, crash on frat house floor (most unpleasant accomodations to date).

let's not underestimate the power of a good lawn seat. a good spot means your toes won't go numb from standing on a slant, that you have room to twirl, and the girl in front of you is not puking her brains out or snorting something. true stories.

my younger self would die if it heard me say that i haven't been to a show in a few years. i got side tracked by going to disney every month, and dave matthews got side tracked by making albums. when i saw that dave was on ellen recently, well be still my heart! my favorite band, my favorite celebrity (ellen), my favorite song.

the only possible way this could be better would be if it took place in disney world, and i was there.

john and i used to have an understanding that if i ever had the opportunity to "kiss" dave matthews, i could. this rule will be in place with anyone i date. but let's be real...if i ever met dave matthews there probably wouldn't be much kissing. i met him once in my dreams and i passed out. how is that even possible in a dream? so i can't even imagine what would happen in real life. it might involve a stroke.

via
hands down sexiest performer alive

anyways, back to the ellen show. i have to watch it on youtube due to no cable. i noticed under the video there was a comment "my friend's dad is in that band, tim reynolds." OK. HOLD UP. i remember when tim reynolds was just a kid. and now he has kids old enough to have friends commenting on you tube? and who the hell doesn't know THAT band?! instantly i felt like the old person at the concert that i used to think "way to hold onto your past...find a new band."

but i will never find a new band. i will be that old person in the audience. i'll just have a better seat.

art > science.

in college i majored in art and history. these two subjects could not have been more perfect for me. they required me to write and they required me to spend an entire day in a studio creating things out of clay.

unfortunately, most of my friends were science majors.

this meant countless hours discussing the anatomy of a pig, what happens when you combine plutonium and aluminum, and.... actually who knows what they were talking about, i hadn't a clue. still don't. my eyes would glaze over and my brain shut down when they'd start talking. and i've had a science brain block ever since.

i took what is affectionately called "rocks for jocks." i barely made it out alive and lets just say it did not help my gpa any. i mean really, a two hour lecture on rocks? BEFORE LUNCH?! 

i recently visited my college campus and my former roomate dragged me in that horrible building since it wasn't so horrible for her and i had already dragged her through the ceramics studio. when i walked through the doors i felt the same gut instinct to RUN FOR MY LIFE. seriously, no good can come of a building full of dead animals, tons chemicals, and students learning to 'experiment.'

i guess the same can be said for my art building where i learned how to use a chop saw, mixed chemicals to make a glaze, and inhaled turpentine. but apples to oranges.

today, my sister and i were discussing time zones. i was booking a flight to puerto rico and we were trying to figure out why flying out of west palm would still take nearly four hours. i suggested maybe there was a time difference and found a nifty time converter on the interweb. well the stupid converter started talking about EDT and UTC and AST and my eyes glazed over and my brain shut down.

i quick sent the link to my science-y sister to figure out and she says "it is a stupid site. GMT is the time that everything is based on. remember earth science?" HA HA.

no, sister, i majored in writing papers and creating things.

and THANK GOD i did.

my dog runs more than your dog.

on an average week bailey runs about ten miles. and that is not including the usain bolt sprints she does around the dog park.

for not having a watch or any concept of time, she sets a pretty good pace. that is until nature calls, she smells something, a motorcycle or worse a bicycle passes, or she just stops short in front of me for no good reason. SQUIRREL!

but who are we kidding, she is actually just walking fast.

there are days where i just don't want to get out of bed at 6am, especially to run. but when we finally get out the door, after many sighs and rolls of her eyes as i stumble around, i remember it's worth it. seeing her ears bounce up and down and her tail wagging around makes me realize this is not so bad. even though we run the same route every single time, it's a new adventure for her.


c'mon mom...let's go for a RUN!


it's so peaceful in the morning too. just me and bailey. and her bag of poop.

she's usually kind enough to go at the beginning so i have to carry it the whole way. or better yet when she goes twice. i especially loved the time there was a hole in the bag and it acted like a frosting bag, only instead of chocolate frosting i was covered in crap.

but it really is worth it. she needs to get her energy out so she doesn't eat any more books, pants or glue sticks. and i sure need the exercise because when i'm not covered in crap i actually am covered in chocolate.

anyways, bailey would definitely win the womens 100, 400, 800 and 5K if they had dog olympics. i know everyone was just obsessed with the actual olympics so you know what that means.

if i didn't have her i'd have to cover all those miles on my own. and let's face it, i probably wouldn't. i feel so lucky to have her as a running partner.

she's my best friend, pace setter, and frosting maker.

welcome to the neighborhood, part two.

well maybe its blogging karma but just when i thought my neighborhood couldn't get any weirder, it went all britney spears with a razor on me.

let's see, where do i begin.

i guess we can start on the day that john left. my two nosy neighbors, creeper larry and shirtless wonder, were standing outside as i was coming back from a walk with bailey. they shouted "where is your hubby?" let me reiterate that this was the day he left. i mumbled something about him not being here, put my head down and walked as fast as i could inside before i started to cry. they kept taunting me saying "uh-oh! he's gone? i hope not for good." nosy and cruel. i have pretty much have avoided them since and i think they know it.

it's probably why creeper larry leaves me letters in the mailbox rather than talk to me. my pen pal kindly informed me that when he was going into his kitchen...he saw me backing out of my driveway and noticed my brake light was out. even though this letter didn't rhyme and was signed a different address, i knew it was him because of the handwriting and excessive detail.

shirtless wonder has been pretty MIA due to illness. while i hope he gets better i also really hope he starts wearing a shirt. the other day he came over to talk to my lawn guy about his jungle of a yard. i just wish the shirts were reversed. just saying.

the real crazy dog lady got back with her ex-husband and moved out to utah.  she's hoping her house will burn down so that she can just collect the insurance money. but bailey really misses her and i miss having another female around.

back story on crazy dog lady. about a year ago, there a few cop cars outside her house. a few weeks later she told me it was because someone had stolen her guns. as in plural. multiple firearms. great.


i'm friends with the "drug addict" now because he is taking care of my neighbor's french bulldog version of bailey, named camo, who bailey loves. to be fair i don't think he is an addict, he's just smoking something. the other day he asked if i noticed he painted his garage purple. i'm not sure how one could not notice it. he plans to short sale his house but the realtor has yet to show up. i'm pretty sure the realtor saw purple and ran far, far away.

i'm also pretty sure he and camo are going to be life partners because our neighbor "works" out of town for weeks at a time. meanwhile there has been a subpoena placed over his front door so he can't open it without seeing the bright green paper. when i asked purple people eater where camo's dad was, he said he hadn't been "released from work yet." how about we replace work with jail, and that sentence makes a lot more sense.

the good part about all this is bailey and i pretty much have the block to ourselves and my house is the standout in a good way. the down side is resale is going to be a b*tch.

just another beautiful day in the neighborhood.

to leah and evan.

the following is the maid of honor speech i made for my best friend this weekend. though i couldn't hold on to my papers because my hands were shaking so hard and i had to follow the best man comedy show, i'd still call it a success. it was such an honor to write this and to be the maid of honor for my best friend.

when i was younger, my brother used to talk me into doing all sorts of things i didn't want to do. so twenty something years ago when he nagged me to come to his friend micah's house because he promised i would really like micah's sister, i figured she was probably awful. i finally gave in just to shut him up. i don't often admit this, but i was wrong...she was great. it was the best gift my brother has ever given me.

leah and i were instantly inseparable. not only did i find a beset friend for life that day, i gained a pretty big extended family, a few extra holidays like hannukah and passover, the other half to our dance duet, a forever ice cream date, and partner in crime. i found the thelma to my louise.

as little girls, leah and i loved to play house. we would always pretend that we were married to twins. that way we could basically marry the same person and be related. while leah clearly didn't uphold that pact, i learned a long time ago it doesn't take blood to make you family.

in thinking of how i could describe what kind of friend leah is, this one story came to mind. you know when your parents say they will get you a pet, only if you take care of it but you don't, so they have to? well i had a rabbit like that and one day i came home to find it had died. i called leah and between my sobs she figured out that noah was dead and my parents were going to kill me. she immediately started running to my house. if you know leah, that is a pretty big deal..the running part. she also helped me figure out hat the rabbit wasn't dead after all. she saved my butt that day. 


she had run to my side and she was there for me. now we don't really live within running distance anymore but she continues to be there for me when i need her most. she's shared her family with me and has been my constant as friends and boyfriends have come and gone for us both. so it's been my honor to be her maid of honor. this day is something we dreamed up for a long time and i couldn't imagine a better prince charming for princess leah.

i remember when leah first started dating evan. she was visiting me in florida and though she was downplaying it, i could tell she was already smitten. calls and texts were going in and out at a rapid pace and her face would flush red when she spoke about him, and as much fun as i am to be around, i could tell by the end of the weekend she was ready to get back to him.

they've been together ever since and i can tell how happy he makes her. if ever there were a more detail-oriented person than leah, evan would be it. i know together they will make lists...and check them twice. but most of all they will always dream together, plan together, laugh together and grow together.

though i'm a few months older, leah's always been doing things first...first kiss, first boyfriend, first real job. what i'm trying to say is that i don't have any marriage advice because leah is blazing the trail once again! however, i do have a few things i wish for you both.

may you always kiss each other good night.
may your journey always be better than the destination.
may you continue to laugh together everyday.
may you always find home in each other.
always remember how in love you are today but may this be the day that you love each other the least.

i learned somewhere you should start with a joke and end with a quote. so'id like to end this with some dave matthews.

see, you and me
have a better time than most can dream
have it better than the best
and so can pull on through
whatever tears at us
whatever holds us down
and if nothing can be done
we'll make the best of what's around
turns out not where but who you're with that really matters

may you always make the best of what's around together.

to leah and evan!

i. went. SURFING.

my first year living in florida, i was on the cover of the newspaper. before and since i have been in the paper has been for much better things but have never made it to the cover. and never for something so ridiculous (and somewhat frightening).

i was at the beach with my fellow americorps member, nghia, who like most guys lacked common sense and even though he grew up near the water in vietnam, remained what i call "ocean dumb." no offense, he was a total smarty otherwise.

there are a few things that become inherent when you live near the ocean. you know how to catch a wave with your body or any kind board, when the tide is coming up, how to dive under an incoming wave, and to NEVER turn your back to the ocean. nghia knew none of these things.

still, we went swimming.

we didn't pay attention to the lifeguards' double red flags nor had we heard about the kid who was missing at sea. immediately i knew we were in trouble. it literally felt like there was a vacuum at my feet and i realized i was getting sucked out at an alarming speed. the logic side of my brain told me that i was supposed to follow the current and spit me back out. the panic side of my brain said GET YOUR FEET ON SOLID GROUND RIGHT NOW.

panic won.

i reached the shore just in time to see two lifeguards running towards us. i stood with one as we watched the other rescue nghia. not only was i glad to be alive, i was completely mortified. we had caught the attention of the entire beach. and lucky for us, a reporter.

when we got back to work the next week everyone was asking if we were ok. i wondered how they knew.

this story, along with a photo of nghia being helped out of the water had made the front page (lucky for me it can still be found on the interweb):

"...With rough waters and a rip current, lifeguards flew the red flag — high caution — and at one point dashed in and helped two Vero Beach residents, Nghia and Jessica, both 22 (and dumb). 'They were getting sucked out good,' lifeguard Matt Resch said. Lifeguards helped Nghia and Jessica struggle back to shore. The beach goers said they might have lost their footing after another minute in the rip current.
'It was like a vacuum,' Nghia said..."

first i would like to point out a few inconsistencies here. i was NOT helped by a lifeguard, though i was grateful for their efforts. i got out on my own powered by sheer will and fear. second i said it was like a vacuum. i do like how they pointed out "high caution" to highlight our stupidity. regardless, that is not how i planned on making a name for myself here, as the girl who was ocean dumb.

(it looked kind of like this except with more fear and less smile. also nghia would be way behind me.)

like i said i've made it in the paper a lot since then, for much better, cooler things. but this goes down as most memorable. it probably explains why my mom totally panicked this weekend after she hadn't heard from me after i went kayaking.

after that i was much more wary of the ocean. nghia wasn't. he went back in the next day with my friend doug and another friend who couldn't swim. doug had to save them both. OCEAN DUMB.

anyways this weekend i rediscovered the joy of the ocean. unfortunately my leg rediscovered the joy of a surfboard fin and i will be sporting a bruise. and who am i kidding, i'm totally showing that sucker off because i. went. SURFING.

and i survived.

and much to my disappointment it did not make the front page of the paper.

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT~ Jessica is Not Ocean Dumb Afterall!

ps. nghia, if you are reading this, thanks for the memories. and i hope you live inland :)

pps. you read that right, i went kayaking and surfing in one weekend. i'm not sure which was less more successful.