crazy dog lady.

in college i had a professor who was a crazy cat lady. she lent me a book once that she plucked out of some kitty litter in her car and dusted off the cat hair. recently my friend one-upped me and told me she had a professor who was actually married to her cats.

well i'm no crazy cat lady but i'm well on my way to being a crazy dog lady. which may or may not be better than a cat lady. (and i mean its totally better, no offense).

why? because dogs love you back and they don't make you work for it. my dog runs with me not away from me. she uses the bathroom OUTSIDE.

can your cat do that?

but i digress. this isn't about my opinion on why dogs are better than cats. this is how i'm becoming a crazy dog lady.

if it weren't for bailey these past few weeks i might have gone crazy. with no one around to talk to she has become a great listener. she is constantly by my side and endures many smothering hugs and kisses. i'm so grateful to have her in my life.


i got her from the humane society about a year ago. it was hard not to take all the dogs home. but i spotted her and thought she looked like a dessert, and that was perfect for me.

she used to try and jet out the door whenever i opened it. now she knows this is home and where she wants to stay.



she has taught me a lot about life. she approaches a car ride and a four mile run with the same excitement, a smile plastered on her face the whole time, her tounge hanging out. she doesn't get flustered even when the neighbor dogs are barking their heads off at her.

last weekend we went to a puppy class. we had tried a few months ago and got a "certificate of attendance,"  not acheivement. this time she was teacher's pet. they told me she was a quick study and kept using her as an example for the rest of the class. as a dog mom, i coudln't have been prouder. (this weekend we went back and i realized the class was really for me, not her).

but it was at this class i noticed how i'm inching closer to crazy dog lady. i talked to her like she was a person. when she looked at me i was pretty sure i knew what she was thinking.

i think she gets me too. she seems to sense when i need to laugh and does something silly. when she sees that i'm sad she looks at me with sympathy. she is the best company i could ask for.

it has taking me a while to write this post. it is hard to put into words how much a pet means to you. i don't think i've done it justice. but there you have it, from a crazy dog lady.

there is so much joy to be had right now.

the past few weeks i have wanted so badly to throw myself a pity party, to wallow in my sadness. but then all my friends and family have flooded me with good news and happiness of their own and i found it near impossible to attend my own party.

friends have announced engagements, weddings, babies and cancer remissions. i am so, so happy for all their joys and triumphs. i have seen some of them go through rough patches like this so i'm encouraged that there is hope for me. i will have happy news to flood them with. some day.

and there are happy things happening to me right now, so i wallow in those instead.

my goal has always been to be that crazy, silly aunt that my nephews and neices find to be both wacky and their best friend. so when my nephew associates me with dancing shoes and jazz hands, i think i am well on my way.

(captions courtesy of poppop.)

and how special it is, being an aunt. when i hear my nephew's sweet voice saying "hi aunt jesse, i love you" i feel like i might bust open. when he favors my gifts over others, i feel connected. when i see pictures of him with his "hair" (usually a blue snuggie, but in a pinch, a shirt will do) i feel incredibly lucky to have such a unique, creative soul to call my nephew.

so imagine my elation at getting the phone call this friday, "it's a girl!" elizabeth jane was born this friday and i have waited four long days to announce it. i now have a nephew AND a niece, a match set to smother in love. and she is perfect from her button nose to her long schmitt toes. i can't wait to dress her in a tutu and teach her how to "rond de jambe."

when aidan was born, i cried my little eyes out because i was so far away. this time i was even further but i kept my cool. i know what to expect this time. just because i wasn't there the day they were born doesn't make me love them less. it makes me treasure them more. and i just can't wait to love this little one up.

 



baby sister looks just like baby brother when he was born.





i mean how could you not be happy looking at these precious little look alike babies.

i can throw that pity party another day. there is so much joy to be had right now.

falling from grace (or being less than graceful).

i have fallen more times than most when running.

the first time was in college, it was a bit traumatic actually. it was the anniversary of the friend's death that had first motivated me to run and i wanted to run in his honor. even though it was the middle of the day i began to get followed by a white car. distracted by that and a house for sale i didn't notice the lip in the sidewalk. somehow i ended up on my stomach facing the opposite way i had been running.  bleeding from three major joints, i continued to run.

i spotted the creeper twice before i realized it was time to cut my losses and head back. i tried to out-smart the guy by running down one-way streets where he couldn't follow. i was glad to get home until i realized i didn't own a single band-aid.

fast forward a few years to my weekly wednesday night group bridge loop run on a particularly dark night. another lip, another trip. i got up as quick as i had gone down.

only twice you ask? oh no, my friend. the very next week i doubled that count, in one run.

it was a particularly windy day. my sneakers came with extremely long laces which had never bothered me before. well the wind blue up one bunny ear, the other shoe got caught in it. hog tied, i slammed into the ground. on an already bruised knee. on the top of the bridge. running into oncoming traffic. with no barrier between me and the cars. not only embarassed but in fear for my safety i got up and got running.

it hurt. but i was determined to finish. i got to the end of the bridge. another gust of wind, another hog tie, and i was down for the count. this time i had an audience of runners passing me. embarassed yet again, i realized something was telling me to just go home. i walked the rest of the way to the group's meeting point where everyone wanted to tell me their falling stories and i just wanted to cry my eyes out.

this time i already knew i had no band-aids at home, so bloody, bruised and swollen i headed to the nearest cvs. i am now fully stocked for the next decade of falls.

because i'm sure that i'm not done falling yet. (why yes, this is a metaphor for life.)

this week has been one big fall from grace. it has hurt pretty bad. with all my practice, i know i'll eventually pick up the pieces, and continue running. but in the meantime, i have plenty of band-aids to patch me together.

especially the ones with buzz lightyear on them. they always cheer me up.